"When confusion fills my life, and my world inside is torn apart, when the road just seems to rough and discouragement just grips my heart, I lift my eyes and see, the one who died for me is standing there beside me, and says so tenderly, Oh be still, my child and know I'm your God, rest to know the King of Glory is on your side, let me bare all your pain, and carry your load, oh be still my child and rest in me.
When I lose the ones I love, and there's no one there to stand by me, or when all I have is gone, my dreams my plans are all destroyed, I lift my eyes and see the one who died for me, is standing there beside me and says so tenderly. Oh be still my child and know I'm your God, rest to know the King of Glory is on your side. Let me bare all your pain, and carry your load, oh be still my child and rest in me." "Rest in Me - Kevin Inafuku"
Out of the many words I shall never quite comprehend what their meanings are, "dead" is one of them. Today I woke up 10 minutes before I had to be at devotions, and thankfully my roommate woke me up in time, so I yanked on a blouse, pulled on my dress pants, grabbed my bible, notebook, and pen and ran out the door. I made it and signed into my 8:00 am devotions at 7:57 am. After my devotions were finished I walked back to my dorm and proceeded to do my room jobs which consisted of: making my bed, sweeping the floor, clearing the desk, pulling the curtains over the closet area, and cleaning the sink, counter, and mirror. After I got finished with those things, I grabbed my coat flinging it over my shoulders and pushing my arms through the holes. The rest of the day went well. The chapel message was amazing, and just what I needed to hear. My day had gone quite well...I walked outside from English and squinted into the bright sunlight that peirced the sky, eluminating the snow and making it three times as bright as it usually was. Walking over to the rec hall to check my mail box, I pulled open the door and let my eyes adjust to the considerably dimmer lighting. Standing in line to check my mail box, I looked around for any of my close friends. Finally reaching my mail box, I turned the comination, sifting through the mix of scantrons, mail, cards, and advertisments, I reached in and pulled out a thick letter for me from a lady back home. "Ah-ha" I thought to myself, "The bulliten". Opening up the envelope, I let the contents fall out onto the table. Sure enough, the bulliten fell onto the table with a soft "thud", but suddenly a little piece of grey paper fluttered to the ground. I bent down to pick it up, and I noticed the front of it said, "Going home". I didn't get it until I stood back up and opened the paper. "In memory of Vivian McNeeley" it read in bolt black print. I just stood there in unbelief for several minutes. A fog of dense silence seemed to crowd in on me. My ears started to ring. My knees started to go weak, and I felt myself sinking into the chair that was fortunetly beneath me. Slowly the hum of the conversations going on around me increased and pretty soon I was back in the rec hall with everyone around me, and the ping-pong ball being hit back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Tears slowly slipped down my face...and then came faster and faster, making a puddle form on the table.
I can't exactely remember what I did the rest of the day...I remember sitting for a long while with Krystale, and Michael...but after that all I can remember is going back to my dorm, taking a really hot shower, and then eating supper...now I am sitting in the rec hall writing this blog entry.
God has put me through some excrutiating circumstances in the last three weeks here at school, but He is faithful who will not suffer me to be tempted above that I am able, but will with the temptation, also make a way to escape.
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