"Kara, did you hear about the Jones' family?" Immediately thought flash through my head. "Were they in a car accident?" "Where they hurt?" "Where are they?" "What happened?" I slowly typed "no" into the chat box on facebook and selected the enter button to send the message to my mom who was on the other end. "They had their house broken into, and the guy had a gun. When Mrs. Jones came around the corner and saw him, she screamed, grabbed Sara and the phone, and ran into a back room. Thankfully the guy ran away." These words pounded my senses like a brick against putty. Starting to shake, and tears at the back of my eyes, I tried to blink the disbelief away. Shaking my head, and trying to steady my hands over the keyboard, I simply held my hands over the laptop keys for the longest time, wondering what to say. "Oh my word...I don't even know how to respond" finally came the response. I put a sad smiley for good measure and decided that crying would do no good, so I blinked the tears away. Looking around, all my close friends were either off campus for a while, or busy. Finally seeing my "Campus Sister" Erin on, I told her what happened. She immediately asked me where I was, and I told her that I was in the rec hall, but she didn't need to come over. However, a few minutes later, she was sitting across from me not doing anything...not talking, but just sitting with me.
Erin and I have the kind of relationship that just her being there makes it all better. It's like when she's there...everything ceases to be evil or bad. Everything for that little moment is perfect again. When my "Campus Brother" Michael isn't there, Erin is. Her sweet disposition, caring attitude, and loving smile are just three of her many characteristics with which I love her for.
A lot of people joke about being "brothers and sisters", but Michael, Erin, and I actually are...on the deepest level...not just a mental level...but an emotional level.
Something hasn't been right with the way I've been feeling lately. My friends have told me I've been quiet...but I didn't want to believe them. Now, however, I can't help but notice the ache in my chest. Some thing's wrong with me...but I'm not sure what it is, nor how to fix it. The ache isn't physical, although I can feel it physically, the feeling I am experiencing is purely emotional. Along with this feeling, I have had a lot on my mind. Not a day goes by without me day-dreaming about something or another that I have to do or want to do.
I feel like my "group" that we had last semester is slowly and painfully breaking up, and only those of us that actually want to stay together are able to do just that. God is stretching us all...I guess you could say He is putting us all on the raque and seeing how flexible we are able to become. When God does this, it hurts. It hurts more than anything I could ever describe on paper (Romans 8:26), but if we are knocked around like this, it eventually knocks us to our knees, and that is the best place for us to be...on our knees...so the only place we can look...is up.
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