The State Fair in Raleigh, North Carolina was this past weekend. However, the Lord had something that we didn't count on in store for us. As we were preparing to leave Raleigh to come back home, Michael's jeep decided to continue having trouble with the transmission. Michael put his jeep into Neutral and rolled into a Hospital Parking Lot. Putting his vehicle into Park, he got out, and put his hands behind his head and tried to breathe normally.
Katie went off crying because of the lack of money available, and feeling that she was responsible to pay for the transmission repair. Her mom followed her, and Jonathan wandered off by himself while Michael's dad called a tow truck. Standing to Michael left, I hugged his arm. Sighing he started talking. "I don't know why every time something good seems to be happening, God feels like he has to punish me by doing something bad." Looking up at him, he simply stared straight ahead of him. Coming around to the front of him, I put my arms around his neck. Waiting until he looked at me, I asked him, "Why? Why question Him now? Why only question him when something bad happens? Why not question him when something good happens?" He sighed, shut his eyes, and whispered. "I don't know. I...I'm just so tired of having my hopes get high, and then having them dashed with something like this happens.
I nodded in understanding and he rubbed his forehead with his fingers.
Just tonight, I was on my way back from Wal-Mart where I had returned a Redbox DVD (Soul Surfer--really good movie by the way), and Katie said, "Maybe this sounds bad for a Christian to say, but...sometimes I wonder if the Bible was really God's Word, or if it was just a lunatic that was totally wacko." I looked at her, and then went back to paying attention to my driving. "I mean," she continued, "God doesn't talk to us any more..." About half way home, Katie said, "You say that people will let you down. But God does too." I asked her what she meant, and she said, "Well, every time I pray for something, and it doesn't happen, God let's me down." "So," I started, being careful to word things gently, "You're saying that every time that God's answer is 'no' you're saying that He's letting you down?" She said, "Well, yes." The conversation went on for some time, and as I turned onto a couple streets from "home" I started thinking. "Why is it that we only question You when bad things happen? Why aren't we satisfied when you say no? Why do we feel that every time the answer isn't what we wanted, we accuse you of failing us? Why are we so faithless?"
Sunday night, before Michael left, Michael and I were standing in the living room, and Michael's dad was talking. He then said, "You could ask Kara to pray for you. And pray earnestly." Michael nodded, and rubbed my shoulder. I kept my gaze on the ground, and took in everything his dad was saying.
As I walked Michael out to the car he was going to use until he could fix his jeep, I hugged him and my voice broke as I placed my hands on either side of his face and whispered, "I am so thankful for you." and tears started rolling down my face.
I believe, now, more then ever, that Christian Men today don't need a wife who cooks, cleans, and takes care of children, rather they need a wife who prays.
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